France—especially its city of Paris and region of Provence—is one of the top dream wedding destinations.

Though I couldn’t find valid data showing the number of destination weddings held in France each year, I can tell from the traffic this website receives to its pages dedicated to my own French wedding that many, many people dream about getting married in France.

Further, in response to my earlier articles, I’ve received a lot of e-mail from readers planning their own French weddings asking for recommendations, ideas, and advice. These exchanges prompted me to wonder what people who plan and produce weddings in France—the real French-wedding experts—wish people knew before they planned their weddings in France.

To find out, I asked this question to some of the amazing professionals who helped me with my own French wedding, who referred me to other experts they knew as well. In the process of all the correspondence, I uncovered the following three biggest misconceptions that people have when it comes to planning a wedding in France.

Let’s dig in.

Wake-Up Call #1: You can’t get legally married in France. (Probably.)

The biggest misconception that people have about getting married in France is that people who are not French and who do not live in France can get legally married in France.

I’ve outlined the rationale a bit more in the article about my French civil wedding, yet suffice to say for this post that you should assume a legal wedding in France won’t happen for you if you don’t live in France (and maybe not even if you do live in France).

Yes, Arnaud and I did manage to get legally married in France, but it took a lot of work and all the credit goes to my French husband for making it happen.

“Basically, to have a legally binding civil ceremony in France the couple must have resided here for thirty days,” said Ian Holmes, a photographer in Paris who photographs weddings as Ian Holmes Photography. “With the vast majority of couples I work with residing outside of France, they generally have a small, legally binding wedding, often just at the town hall, in their hometown and a ‘symbolic ceremony’ and celebration here in France.”

Laura Montorio, a wedding officiant who has a business called The Paris Officiant, agreed. “Some couples think that they can get legally married in France as foreigners, which, in reality, is most of the time impossible or, if not, then extremely complicated. It’s also not really worth the hassle, as you can only legally get married in France in a city hall and not at your dream castle or with a view on the Eiffel Tower.”

In France, as in many countries, the wedding (the religious and party parts) and the marriage (the legally binding part) don’t intermingle. All French people get married in the city hall—known as the “mairie”—and then have the religious or symbolic ceremony with the larger part of their guests and the reception at a different time. (Just as Arnaud and I did.) For most couples planning a destination wedding in France, they need to simply decouple the marriage and the wedding in the same way, having the legal ceremony in their home base and the wedding in France.

If you want one ceremony (legally binding and ceremonial) followed by a wedding party or reception—the more normal scenario in the United States—and you can’t shift your thinking to another program, then you shouldn’t plan your wedding in France.

Wake-Up Call #2: Paris won’t work well for large weddings.

Arnaud and I never considered getting married in Paris, as we wanted a location more closely connected to Arnaud’s family. (For this reason, we looked at locations in Normandy and the Loire Valley and selected a wedding venue in Normandy.)

Therefore, learning from the experts that people planning large weddings should pass on Paris as a location surprised me—though the rationale makes sense.

“If they want to invite a lot of guests, say eighty and more, I would recommend to host the wedding outside of Paris in a castle or another large venue,” Laura said. “In Paris, hosting and accommodating that many people can be an issue.”

Nancy LaTart, who plans weddings via her company, Fête in France, made the same points. Paris has few large event spaces and function areas for large parties. Further, the logistics of managing and moving large groups of people in a dense and vibrant city will pose a challenge.

Laura added, “Some couples get a lot of inspiration for their wedding in Paris online via Instagram and Pinterest. These photos are gorgeous and often it looks like Paris is empty and they got it for themselves. If they have never been to Paris before they are sometimes shocked when I tell them that we need to meet at sunrise in order to have a similar experience and result. Later in the day, there will be just too many people around. Also, for ceremonies, we will only enjoy a quiet and intimate moment near the Eiffel Tower if we are there at sunrise, so getting up early is key.”

Ian, the photographer, concurred in a post on his website: “Paris is a city in a flux of constant change. Construction works, events, and overzealous security guards can all make the original location you had finalized [for your photography] unworkable on the big day.”

A sunrise wedding doesn’t match your mental picture? Want to invite at least a hundred people to celebrate with you? Dreaming of dreamy wedding photographs? You may want to look outside Paris. The good news? France has countless amazingly beautiful venues all over the country. Don’t hesitate to explore the other options.

Wake-Up Call #3: The French conduct business differently.

Every single expert on French wedding planning said that thinking you can go it alone—in other words, that you can plan a wedding in France without help from people on the ground in France, accustomed to working “the French way”—will result in disaster or, at best, extreme frustration.

“As a non-French person, you likely have a set of assumptions and reference points when it comes to weddings in your own culture,” Nancy said. “And, of course, there are certain assumptions and reference points the venue or vendor will have about how weddings are done in France. Making sure these assumptions and reference points are brought out into the open will be helpful in minimizing friction.”

In addition, the culture for client relations differs in France from what other countries may consider standard.

“One of the biggest barriers couples face, particularly when they are planning themselves, is hearing ‘ce n’est pas possible,’ which means that something they want is not possible. We find that venues and vendors will revert to the ‘pas possible’ when it's outside of their usual way of working,” Nancy said. “Their perspective is that they know how to deliver a quality service by doing things in a certain way, and by venturing away from this, it might prevent them from performing at their best level. When you aren't used to French working culture, it’s hard to not take this in a bad way.”

Ian agreed and added, “Life in France outside the capital moves at a slower pace than perhaps people from outside the country are used to. So getting responses from, say, a potential wedding venue can often take days. Sometimes weeks. Venues, photographers, celebrant, catering, florists, and entertainment all need organizing via e-mail and telephone calls, which can take up a huge amount of time and effort.”

Need I remind you that all of this back and forth and negotiation (not to mention the contracts and agreements) will happen in the French language, too?

Further, Nancy pointed out that the French approach weddings from a more artisanal perspective, meaning that couples will not find many of the options available in places like the United States in France. “The upside is that weddings often feel more personally crafted. The downside is that there isn't the same extent of choice that exists in the United States, particularly when it comes to rentals and tableware,” she said.

The good news? Every expert said that a wedding planner based in France with experience planning French weddings (and French-language fluency) will help insulate you from many of these stresses and work with—rather than against—the French culture to help you realize the wedding you want.

Don’t Get Discouraged: A French Destination Wedding is Amazing

Wondering whether a French wedding is worth the hassle?

Trust me: It is.

I believe firmly that going into something eyes-wide-open will always result in a bigger win that having misconceptions that spiral you into disappointment right from the start.

Don’t let these misconceptions burst your bubble and sway you away from a wedding in France. If you can find a little more room for exploration and widening your vision and if you can find and trust French wedding experts, you’ll have a more amazing wedding than you imagined.

P.S.—Want more articles based on first-hand experience on weddings in France? Click here for a repository of all my French-weddings information.

P.P.S.—Would you like to speak with me about my own experience getting married in France? You can schedule a call with me for a nominal investment (which helps support this site). For more information and to schedule a conversation, click here.