I Have No Clue about Beach Gear and You Probably Don’t, Either

Surfside Beach, Texas. September 27, 2014.

I had a near-miss visit to a large volume of salt water recently (horrors for me, as you readers know), at which I realized that I don’t actually have a clue what people wear or bring to the beach.

Neither do most people, it turns out. (Or perhaps I only know city folk?)

When I turned to Twitter with the query, I received the following recommendations:

• An umbrella. Jenna Sauber later clarified she meant a beach umbrella. How would I know such a thing? And do people actually cart massive equipment to the beach?

• Alcohol—particularly beer and vodka. Upon reflection, beer made sense. I’ve seen plenty a commercial with sand, ocean, and cerveza. Vodka, though, @Erwin_Doug_1971?

• An truckload worth of supplies. @slojuk and @JohnBladon trudge to the beach with “a Frisbee, crossword puzzles, books, sunscreen, hats, towels, Nerf balls, fruit, and ice water.” They claim all this stuff fits in one cooler. Right.

• High heels and a sequined dress. I don’t know what @C_LosRun does at the beach, exactly. Let’s assume he meant the suggestion in jest. (If not, hey, no judgment here.)

In in addition to recommending that I add beach-umbrella cartage to my workout routine, Jenna had a few actually practical suggestions: Sunscreen, a book, a blanket, and a change of clothes. The ever thoughtful @ChrisCarville put in another vote for sunblock as well.

These sunblock reminders have garnered Jenna, @slojuk, and @ChrisCarville gold stars on their medical charts from the American Academy of Dermatology, which actually exists (even if a gold-star program from the organization does not).

What do you bring to the beach?