Sacrifice Anything Friends

Two friends looking at Lake Geneva. Ouchy, Lausanne, Switzerland. May 12, 2019.

Two friends looking at Lake Geneva. Ouchy, Lausanne, Switzerland. May 12, 2019.

There are levels of friends. There are people we know, people we spend time with on a somewhat regular basis, people we see quite regularly, close personal friends who matter to us deeply, and a handful of people for whom we’d do anything.

Let's clarify that latter level, the one at which you'd do anything for someone. For me, these are the few friends—I can count them on one hand—who could call me at any hour, ask me to get on the next plane out to them, and I would. Even if it would mean sacrificing the biggest business deal of my life, say. These are the friends who could ask me to wire them emergency cash, without explanation, and I would. Even if I knew they’d never be able to pay me back. And these are the friends who I know would do the same for me. No questions asked.

I'm not sure exactly what finally gets someone to the "sacrifice anything" level. Certainly time and experience together, some tribulation in one or both lives that shows you the other truly has your back, a solid personal connection in which you understand each other at the deepest level. Yet it's more than that. I can think of people who may fit these criteria who aren't at this level. This is the very definition of je ne sais quoi.

Regardless, most of us have a tiny echelon of "sacrifice anything" friends. The question is: How much do we nurture them?

Not that they wouldn't sacrifice for you—or you for them—if you hadn't talked or met up in a while. That's not what true, deep friendship is about. The thing is, even if they would still sacrifice for you if you hadn't connected, why haven't you?

When I went through my deep, life-resetting goals session on the first go-around, during which I realized that the people in my life matter more than anything else, the way I spent my time—and with whom—glared at me. I was miserably busy, and I'd filled my calendar with activities that included other people. Too rarely, though, were these people at the "sacrifice anything" level, or the close friends level, or even in a pool of prospects for either echelon.

Not good.

So I restructured my time. I've put greater emphasis on spending quality moments with the people who matter to me most. The people who enrich my life—not just fill it. People who give to me as much as I give to them.

Where do you spend your time? Do you have "sacrifice anything" friends?