Successful Houseguest Hosting

Image credit: Rodnae Productions

I’ve written about successful houseguest hosting in the past, though I think the subject deserves more detail—especially after having moved to another country yet again and having had the wonderful opportunity to host more guests again. (Where I lived before this latest move—Houston—didn’t attract as many guests as my years in London did, not surprisingly.)

To give a little additional guidance, I’ve developed the following best practices based on my experience. And as you may recognize from previous posts—especially the one about traveling with other people—I’ve learned that a successful and happy experience for everyone, guests and hosts, primarily hinges on how well you’ve communicated before your guests arrive.

Their Space

As a guest, I’ve had some surprises when I arrived for my visit: In one case, the host had vacated her bedroom for me. If I’d have known she’d need to do this, I’d have stayed in a rental apartment or hotel. No point in inconveniencing anyone to this extent! In another situation, I discovered I’d be sleeping in the open on an air mattress in the living room—the house’s thoroughfare for everyone coming and going.

And I have other examples.

For this reason, I think it’s wise to tell people in advance what to expect.

Will they have a room with a door they can close? Will they share a bathroom with members of the household? Can they access the bathroom from the room they’ll sleep in, or will they need to go through public areas or to different floors to get to it?

Bed-wise, will they sleep on an air mattress or pull-out couch or will they have a standard bed? What size of bed?

Wireless internet seems like a given these days, but it is not. I’ve stayed places assuming I could take a video call for work—and found the internet too weak for the purpose. (This necessitated last-minute rescheduling in one case and last-minute frantic searching for a coworking place that I could rent by the hour in another.) Let your guests know about your internet situation. Do you have it? Do you have it and yet having multiple people on it at the same time causes bandwidth slow-down? Do you have a powerful home connection that should suit everyone’s needs?

Not saying guests should try to control these situations—as guests, they should not—but everything goes more smoothly when no one faces the unexpected. I’d bring different pajamas, for example, if I knew I wouldn’t have a bedroom with a door I could close. And I’d have not scheduled a video call for the trip with the weak internet connection—or I’d have booked a coworking place for the call well in advance.

Food and Drink

Do you expect to eat breakfast and dinner together every day? Or lunch only? Or no meals at all?

Do you mainly eat at home or out? If at home, do you get take-out or delivery or do you cook all meals?

Would your guests like you to have certain foods and drinks available when they arrive—or would they prefer you take them to the grocery on their first day in town, so they can choose what they like and need for snacks and quick meals (regardless of who pays)?

I’ve had guests where we cooked and ate all meals together at home, guests who preferred to eat out for at least dinner (if not lunch and dinner), and guests with very specific dietary requirements that made it easier for us all to eat together at home—but to prepare our dishes independently.

Food can make or break enjoyment, as we all know all too well, so getting very clear on food expectations and needs before anyone arrives for a visit will help everyone feel comfortable and enjoy the trip.

The Program (or Lack Thereof)

When I lived in London and had a room with a second bed (that doubled as my office), I had visitors on constant rotation.

I loved it; I’ve joked that I’ve never since seen my friends (and acquaintances) and family so often.

However, I learned after mutual confusion that people often thought that—though they grabbed that low-cost flight at the last minute to hang in London for several days (knowing they had a room for free), rather than necessarily taking the trip specifically and only to see me—I would do the whole London tourist thing alongside them.

Alas, I could only afford—and stand—seeing the same tourist sites only so many times per year. Also, work would not have allowed me to take off as much as I had guests in town.

For this reason, I’d recommend you talk in advance about what they can expect in terms of your time together—and to learn from them as well about what they have scheduled that they plan to do on their own (and what really want to do together with you).

Will you hang with them the whole time—and vice versa? Or is everyone independent other than for set things? If the latter, which things?

Further, if you have specific things planned for their visit, share with them what you have planned: activities, meals, gatherings, events, and so forth.

What to Bring

Let people know if they should consider packing certain attire or comfort items.

Maybe you have an activity planned that requires certain clothing. Maybe you want to ensure they have what they need for the climate, whether cold or hot. Maybe they’ll want a robe or some sort of easy-on cover-up for getting from their bed to the bathroom.

Will you have all the standard toiletries available, such as lotion, shampoo, and soap (as in hotels)?

We’ve all had to do it, and it happens, but no one wants to have to go shopping for a necessity they could have packed if only they’d known. (Nor do you, as the host, want to have to shepherd your guest from store to store for something utilitarian.) Let’s be honest: Necessity shopping is rarely fun shopping.

Household Rhythm

Every household has a rhythm. What’s yours?

What time do people typically wake up, what time do you typically eat, do people eat together or separately, what time do people leave for school or work, what time does everyone come home from their daily activities?

Do you have people who will be in the house at a certain time, whether a housecleaner or a babysitter or a repairperson? If so, should they plan to be out of the place during this period, or should they just be aware of it and work around it?

Of your household’s rhythm what should they expect to join (e.g., meals and activities), help with (e.g., cooking, babysitting), and accommodate (e.g., quiet during working hours due to someone working from home), and what do they not need to worry about?

Other Guidance?

What have I missed?

As a past houseguest, what do you wish you’d known before you arrived? What would have made your stay better?

And before you ask: Yes, I did write a post about how to be a good houseguest!