Traditions

An angel figure my mother places on a table each year at Christmas. December 25, 2010.

I'm the type to question everything.

Over breakfast with a friend recently, I asked so many questions about his coffee order that he told me it was like sitting down with a two-year-old.

Why does this need to be that way? Why do they call it that? Does it make sense? Does something really need to happen like it always happens? Who says? Why should we listen to them?

Yet even I get wistful about certain holiday traditions.

Thanksgiving and Christmas are the biggies, but even other holidays—Valentine's Day and Easter, for two—don't feel like themselves if certain elements are missing. Even single, Valentine's Day requires a little chocolate. And if I don't get at least a card from my mother on Easter, the holiday is off kilter.

Interestingly, though, certain elements don't matter. For example, some people obsess over special foods served only on Thanksgiving, but nothing on the menu interests me. The entire spread could change; I wouldn't care. (I might even be glad. Pizza and chocolate chip cookies? Bring it on.)

But I feel slightly traumatized when the people on the guest list change. For the first time since his birth, my brother booked Thanksgiving 2012 in a different town. It's hard for me to process and it means Thanksgiving 2012 doesn't really count as a Thanksgiving. The holiday just skips 2012 entirely.

What traditions need to stay the same for the holiday to feel real for you? What don't you care about? And what's been new or different for you over this past year?