What Not to Do When Fired
One of the emergency exit signs in FrogDog’s office. May 2014.
In every life, a firing will fall. Well, many lives. Most people I know have had companies dismiss them, whether due to a layoff or for missed expectations.
Getting fired sucks.
Though the situation may feel like it couldn’t get worse, trust me: You can make it so. Take a few tips from someone who has had to dismiss more than one employee on how to avoid exacerbating the pain:
Don’t beg: By the time your boss has called the meeting to dismiss you, she’s made the decision, completed the paperwork, and set plans for the transition. Likely, she’s had multiple performance-related conversations with you prior to the termination (unless you broke a major rule necessitating immediate dismissal). No one fires an employee on a whim. After all, termination costs money and time, can lead to legal and unemployment tussles, and inflicts stress on the entire team. What do you expect begging to achieve? Awkwardness? Check. As with any break-up, by the time one of the two people has worked up to having “the conversation,” the relationship has died. Let it go.
Don’t argue: See above, under “don’t beg.” Think you’ll convince the person firing you that you’re right and she’s wrong? Nope. Arguing makes you seem ashamed and defensive.
Don’t spew insults: Throwing dirt musses you more than it sullies the target. Insulting the person firing you, your coworkers, and the company looks petty.
Don’t shoot the messenger: Can you tie your dismissal to company policy or something illegal or against the rules? Then the firer’s action simply follows protocol. If your termination comes from performance problems or skill misalignment, understand that the firing manager did not make the decision to release you on her own. In these cases, a team made the determination.
Don’t forget our infinitesimal world: You never know when life will reconnect you with the people who fired you. Remember that the person dismissing you doesn’t enjoy the conversation—and likely doesn’t think you’re a bad person or a worthless employee. Rather, she feels that you just don’t quite fit the position. I’ve fired people who would work well in other companies or roles. Maintaining face, professionalism, and aplomb in a termination will help secure the organization’s positive impression of you—and will help down the line when you encounter or need the person who dismissed you, your coworkers, or the company.
Don’t smear: Never trash your former coworkers, your former management, the company leadership, or the company. Again, going negative only makes you look bad, bitter, and angry.
Instead of the above, evoke the same grace you’d have if you left voluntarily. Assure the person firing you that, if needed, you will answer any questions about your work after you’ve left. Follow her instructions for how to exit, whether quietly packing your belongings and heading out or peacefully leaving straightaway and expecting your personal items to arrive via post. Send your former supervisor an e-mail after a few days to check in and ensure you left no open questions about your work in your wake.
In short, go with class. Maybe, in the tragic moment, you’ll feel vindicated by spewing hate and anger. In the long run, the high road always turns out for the best. Even better: Your aplomb will make a lasting impression with the company leadership and your former coworkers.
Anything I should add to the list?