Marriage: Why Bother?

Scene from a wedding I attended. Indianapolis, Indiana. July 20, 2013.

Scene from a wedding I attended. Indianapolis, Indiana. July 20, 2013.

After years of telling a long-term boyfriend that I didn’t see the value or importance of marriage, I slowly realized I’d lied.

The truth: I didn’t want to marry him.

A bout of mulling the matter made me realize that I did see the point in marriage, even though I don’t need it in the traditional sense:

  • Financially, I support myself quite well.

  • I’ve always said having children would hinge on the partnership I forged with someone and what we wanted from the relationship.

  • I do not believe a higher power or the state needs to sanction any interpersonal union to make it legitimate.

  • I’m not lonely and I don’t have buckets of unfilled time.

Yet do I want the communion of a true partnership, the life-sharing, the entwinement? Unquestionably. Can two people have that without an official marriage certificate? Absolutely.

So why would I like to wed someone, someday, if I find a man I deem worthy?

For me, a wedding means standing up in front of people for whom I care deeply and trust implicitly and stating that the man next to me is the man to whom I want to give my utter devotion for the rest of my life—and asking them to hold me accountable to the commitment.

If I wouldn't stand up in front of others and make this declaration about someone, something is wrong.

Never finding someone to marry won’t crush me. Yet it sure would feel nice to find someone for whom I feel so strongly.

Do you believe in the institution of marriage?