Why I’d Rather Eat at Home

Home-cooked holiday dinner. December 25, 2020. Lausanne, Switzerland

My grandfather maintained that everyone could get what she wanted at a cafeteria.

Me? I don’t see how cafeterias prove any different from other American restaurants on everyone getting what she wants to eat.

I think my grandfather just liked cafeterias for their ease and convenience. Also, no one would call the man a foodie. (Although, in fairness, his generation didn’t have many.)

With you there, Grandpa.

Don’t get me wrong: I like to eat. I just don’t like eating out.

• I want what I want. The food may not even “go together.” And I want to eat it however I want to eat it, including at whatever temperature I choose.

• I don’t want to make a reservation or wait in line or choose from a voluminous menu or hope that I get a good table or any of the other hassles of the restaurant experience.

• I don’t like sitting in one place for an hour or longer. I feel trapped. Locked in.

• I don’t like others serving me. I’m happier getting and doing for myself. I don’t like waiting for someone to help me and asking someone for stuff.

• In the category of things I don’t like talking or thinking about: Deciding where to eat.

• I’m more content with pizza and hot wings than I am with a fancy meal. (If only I allowed myself to eat them.)

• As a healthy eater, most restaurant food doesn’t fit my criteria. Even the vegetables soak in grease and salt. When restaurants offer many vegetables at all, that is.

• Growing up with two busy, working parents, eating out was the default. So it’s not special. Eating what I want when I want it? That’s a treat.

I think I’m nearly alone in my antirestaurant stance, from the way everyone else talks.

Do you love to eat out?