Why I’d Rather Eat at Home

Sushi ranks as one of few foods for which I'll bother eating in restaurants. Houston, Spring 2013.

Sushi ranks as one of few foods for which I'll bother eating in restaurants. Houston, Spring 2013.

My grandfather maintained that everyone could get what she wanted at a cafeteria.

Me? I don’t see how cafeterias prove any different from other American restaurants on everyone getting what she wants to eat.

I think my grandfather just liked cafeterias for their ease and convenience. Also, no one would call the man a foodie. (Although, in fairness, his generation didn’t have many.)

With you there, Grandpa.

Don’t get me wrong: I like to eat. I just don’t like eating out.

  • I want what I want. The food may not even “go together.” And I want to eat it however I want to eat it, including at whatever temperature I choose.

  • I don’t want to make a reservation or wait in line or choose from a voluminous menu or hope that I get a good table or any of the other hassles of the restaurant experience.

  • I don’t like sitting in one place for an hour or longer. I feel trapped. Locked in.

  • I don’t like others serving me. I’m happier getting and doing for myself. I don’t like waiting for someone to help me and asking someone for stuff.

  • In the category of things I don’t like talking or thinking about: Deciding where to eat.

  • I’m more content with pizza and hot wings than I am with a fancy meal. (If only I allowed myself to eat them.)

  • As a healthy eater, most restaurant food doesn’t fit my criteria. Even the vegetables soak in grease and salt. When restaurants offer many vegetables at all, that is.

  • Growing up with two busy, working parents, eating out was the default. So it’s not special. Eating what I want when I want it? That’s a treat.

I think I’m nearly alone in my antirestaurant stance, from the way everyone else talks.

Do you love to eat out?